Theater and Legacy

I have been thinking a great deal about the notion of legacy, the things we leave behind as human beings. What's left of us when we have shuffled off our mortal coil.

Sorry... I don't mean to be a downer, and I don't really intend this post to be a depressing one, but, rather, as with everything I write for this blog, I'm simply trying to work through some thoughts and feelings on a subject that means a great deal to me.

Just yesterday, a gentleman I knew from different theater circles, passed away.  He was an actor, teacher, director, and playwright.  He was a mentor to a great number of people.  I wish I had known him better than just as a passing, friendly acquaintance, but I always had respect and admiration for his creativity, his intelligence, and his drive. He loved and understood theater in a way I aspire to.  We never worked together, which is actually odd when I think about it.

He knew he was dying, and this last week or so, Facebook was a used as a tool for him to say goodbye, and for people to say goodbye to him.  He wrote that it was like attending his own funeral, which is something he had always wanted to do.  I was overwhelmed and moved by all of the messages on his timeline, especially from his former theater students.  He touched so many lives through his various endeavors, achieving, in a way, his own piece of immortality.

I suppose it is natural, when someone in your life passes away, to think about your own life.  While it may seem self-indulgent, I feel it is a natural human by-product to loss and grieving, to try to filter the experience through your own world view, your own perceptions. I guess this is why I'm wondering today about the things I will leave behind.  How I will be remembered.  Of course, I hope it is a long time away, and that I have ample opportunity for rewriting and tweaking, adding, and fleshing out.  But, then again, when it comes down to it, I'm not really in control of my legacy.

But we're all in control of how we do our work and how we treat one another. This goes a long way.

I hope...

No.  I was going to write a list of things that I hope people remember me for, but, truly, that is not only self-indulgent, it's somewhat of a distraction.  Legacies are made by living, not by wondering what your legacy will be.

Backstage at Lakewood Theater, they have a wall with 8x10 photographs, the one's used for the marquee, of the people who we have lost.  It makes sense to me as a fitting tribute, a wall of remembrance.  After all, every cast is a family, and it is important to remember and honor your family.  Every production is a unique, shared moment in time, that changes all involved, creates a bond of common experience that never goes away, no matter how the years pile on, or how relationships may strain and break.  We'll always have that show together.

You see, those weeks spent working together to create something have impact, the act of creation and collaboration is IMPORTANT.  It builds trust.  It builds humanity, in all of its forms.  We give our hearts and minds to a process in order to make something for others--- family, friends, and even strangers.

It is all about that shared moment.

Because it only takes a single moment to live forever.

So instead of saying goodbye, perhaps I'll simply say this:

Break a leg, my friend.  

IMMORTALITY and the MOMENT: The Writing On the Wall

Lakewood Theater, my summer home growing up

I had the karmic good fortune (to borrow a phrase from novelist Roland Merullo, one of my favorite professors from Bennington) to spend my summers growing up at Lakewood Theater, first as a theater brat tagging along with my parents, and then as an actor.  I can't say for certain how many plays I have been in at Lakewood Theater, only that it is a whole lot.  Because of my association with this historic institution, I have one of the largest extended families you will ever see.

There is a rich history and many ghosts running through the walls of this building, one of my favorite buildings on the planet.  I could write an entire post on its history, and may some day, but today I would like to focus on just a relatively small piece of history that only a relatively select few are given the opportunity to behold.

The dressing rooms, behind the hallowed stage, have walls that are covered with signatures of actors who have lived inside of them for the run of a show.  All right, perhaps they are not technically "lived in", but, trust me, they are lived in.  I have been in each and every one of them over the years.  My favorite is dressing room number 2.  I have especially fond memories of number 2.  You will find my name on that wall quite a bit. 

It's amazing the names you will find in Lakewood's dressing rooms.  When I was playing Finch in "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying", I was delighted to find the signature of Hal Holbrook on the wall of my dressing room for the same part more than 30 years before.  Hume Cronyn is there, as well as John Travolta (who appeared in Bus Stop years ago, his signature now faded, but always a source of excitement), as well as countless others. 

And there are plenty of names that years from now no one will recognize (I count my own among them). 

Every one signs differently.  Some make huge pieces of art, others are small and humble, barely noticeable.  Some write their name, followed by their character's name, followed by the name of the show and the year it was performed (I do variations of this).  Some write quotes from the show.  Some people write their names together.  Some search to find the perfect, unobtrusive spot, and others search for the spot that will get them the most attention. 

It's all good. 

I can't say for certain that I have signed for every show I've been in, but I know I have for most of them.  And whenever I move into a dressing room at Lakewood, I look around, checking out for the names of people I know, as well as the older signatures of rep actors, young hopefuls getting their professional start as part of Lakewood's stock company, back when it was an Equity house. 

Funny, but the old lighting booth at my high school, Foxcroft Academy, is also covered with signatures of actors and techies from shows over the years (the shows are no longer performed at FA, but at the local theater in town, Center Theatre). 

Why this desire to sign the walls?  Why do actors take part in this fun, legal graffiti? 

In my opinion, I think it comes from the idea of leaving your mark.  Theater, as we know, is a medium of the moment.  A performance is a specific time in the Universe that is shared by the performers, the crew, and that particular audience.  And then it is gone from the physical, tangible world.  It is filed into the memories of each person involved, all of the witnesses if you will.  Obviously, this is unlike film and video, which is a more permanent medium. 

It is this shared moment that makes me love live theater above other forms of performing.  It is this connection, this shared memory, that makes it all worthwhile.  Each signature on the wall of Lakewood Theater's dressing rooms represents a treasured experience--- it represents an individual with a theater story to tell, a perception of a moment in time that is fixed and unshakeable and beautiful in their memory.  It is a way to capture a sense of permanence and immortality in a passing flash of creation, a piece of art that is viewed but once and must be held on to.  These signatures say, "I was here.  I was part of this connection, this communion with others.  I made something with these people, something imperfect, but all the more beautiful because of it.  I was a part of this family."

A very wise and lovely person once told me that it is a good thing that some moments are not captured by anything but memory.  Because in memory, every moment can truly last forever, and never be anything but perfect. 

I wish I could say things so eloquently.

I will be back in good old dressing room number 2 this afternoon, but will not sign its walls yet again until the end of the run.  But I will look at some of the old signatures, one in particular, and take a moment to bask in those perfect memories, those moments that have become immortal for me.

Until next time... remember, theater is a sport.

COMMUNITY and SCHOOL THEATRE: A NO DIVA ZONE!

Former student Taryn Lane as diva "Passionella" in "The Apple Tree"  Fortunately, Taryn was not a diva in real life.
Photo and costume courtesy of Michaela Petrovich

Today at Theater is a Sport, I want to talk about something that I believe firmly.  The title of the post says it all:  Community and School Theatre should be a no diva zone.  When cast in a school or community theatre production, it is best to check your ego at the door and be ready to work as part of a cast. 

Remember, there is no "I" in C-a-s-t.  (I say this when directing, and then add, "But there IS an "I" in director!"--- this is a joke.  Even though the director needs to be the number one person in charge, there is still no excuse for acting better than everyone). 

The beautiful thing about school and community theatre is that one should be involved because they love it.  You're not getting paid for acting in community theatre, other than the joy that comes along with being involved, so there's no need to try to put yourself front and center at the expense of your cast mates--- this isn't the race for more work that professional credits are.  Your livelihood does not depend on being the "star" in a community theater or school production, so please, enter into the endeavor with the mindset of being involved with an ensemble.

I know this is wishful thinking on my part.  I, myself, have sinned in this regard, and yes, human actors, even in the "amateur markets", love the thrill of performing in front of a live audience and getting attention for it.  And there's nothing wrong with that.  Just make sure that you can love the process almost as much, if not more. 

In high school and college, there are other factors that can lead to a diva-like attitude.  Maybe you're a senior in high school who has paid their dues in chorus roles and supporting parts your freshman through junior years, and now it's your turn to be the lead.  I get this, I do. The same thing happens in community theatre--- you've been a loyal player with your local community theatre for years, when is it going to be your turn to shine?  Why did so-and-so, a freshman, or, so-and-so, who just moved here, get the lead part, when I've been working hard for these people for years? 

Don't beat yourself up for having these thoughts.  But, unless you want to annoy everyone around you, and perhaps risk any future involvement in upcoming productions, don't share them.  I know it's hard, but, if you must complain, complain discreetly and not at rehearsal.  I'm not going to say "Your Time Will Come", as a good number of directors might, because that's not necessarily true.  You may not ever get the lead.  Not everyone can, no matter how much they love being in plays.  You might always be the sidekick, the supporting role, the walk-on waiter in scene two.... if your ambitions are beyond that, or it makes you resentful to play those parts, then try other places or just take some time off.  If you take time off from community theater and miss it desperately, it will certainly help you appreciate any part you get when you go back to it.  If you don't miss it, and develop equally pleasurable hobbies, then, congratulations, there you go!

On the other side of it, if you're someone who often gets cast in plum roles, that doesn't mean you are the local equivalent of Marlon Brando or Meryl Streep.  There's no need to flaunt your success.  There's no reason to talk to the director differently than anyone else, or expect special treatment.  Nothing's worse than the leading school or community theater actor who likes to flaunt their resume every chance they get, or talk about all their "training".  Please, oh please, avoid this "big fish" attitude.  Don't misunderstand me--- training and an impressive resume is great--- acting like you're any more important than your cast mates is not. 

I realize there is no way to wipe out diva attitudes in school or community theatre.... almost every group I know has one or two.  It's kind of the nature of things, really.  However, the best way to decrease that kind of behavior is in the director's hands.  Just don't tolerate it.  If you see that a certain actor is taking liberties, making other cast members feel bad in any way, or acting superior, talk to them about it, and let them know that the most important thing you want to foster is a "team" environment.  If this certain actor can't deal with it, then maybe, no matter how talented they are, they are not worth casting again.

MOST OF ALL--- remember that you make the CHOICE to be a part of community theatre or a school production.  Please do it for the right reasons.  Keep a positive attitude of fun an ensemble-spirit.  Help each other out.  Be each other's cheerleaders.  Encourage one another and rejoice in each other's successes, no matter how small (so-and-so got that dance step they've been missing, or Johnny got that line that's been giving him trouble!)  MAKE EACH OTHER LOOK GOOD.  When you're onstage, it's not about you--- it's about your scene partners and the audience!  That's how you make a tight cast, and a tight cast equals a bonded cast, and a bonded cast equals a terrific production.  That's what makes your cast mates your extended family.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts. 

Until next time, please remember--- theater is a sport.  A TEAM sport.